Last year I made the goal of either losing 20 lbs or getting pregnant. In the very last month, I achieved one of those goals. And let’s just say that I didn’t even come close to losing 20 lbs! I think I lost 5lbs. And then gained it back around the holidays. Out of respect for those who may be struggling with infertility, this will likely be one of my only posts regarding the pregnancy. That was one of the hardest things for me these last two years and a big part of my decision to get rid of facebook. It was too hard reading about it. And it felt like I couldn’t escape it. Even just watching the music awards where Beyonce revealed her baby bump.
Anyways, I’m still in a bit of disbelief. When I found out I had a mix of unfamiliar emotions. At first, I cried. Then I told Mason since David was at work still. Then I got worried. What if I miscarry? What if this baby has the same developmental delays as Mason or worse? And then an emotion I wasn’t expecting. I started thinking about the three + years that’s it’s been just the three of us, plus the pup. And I got a little sad. This next 9 months is going to be the last time Mason will have us all to himself. I really couldn’t wrap my head around adding another little person to our family even though I’ve been praying for it for two years. My mind had been focused on whether or not we should get rid of all our baby stuff (I was going to sell our crib in March), and why did we buy such a big car if it will be just the three of us (plus the dog who takes up most of the space!). Now it’s on decorating a nursery again and baby names. It will be quite an adjustment. A good and thankful one, but an adjustment nonetheless. It’s a strange feeling to struggle for such a long time and then have it all of a sudden gone. To be honest, the struggle isn’t ALL gone for me. It actually still hurts to hear someone else announce their pregnancy. Not as much, but it does. I think it just reminds me of how hard it was. Maybe time will heal that. And maybe it will always be difficult. I guess it’s too soon to tell.
I’m still learning to trust God even throughout this pregnancy. When will I ever learn my lesson!? I wrote a little bit more about that on the other blog for a new project Jenny and I are doing. I was talking to a dear friend about my anxiety and worry and she asked me, “Do you believe that if something happens that God will see you through it?” Yes. I do. Each trial helps me understand Him all the more and helps remind me of the greater picture. This world is not our home and I need to live for the one that is.
Okay, enough serious stuff! I have been seriously lacking on my project! So let’s not call it a 365 day project, but rather a try to take more pictures of Mason project. He is such a little stinker and won’t let me photograph him! I even had to bribe him with candy and a cupcake for some of these. Plus, we both got a really bad cold so I was in no mood to take pictures and he was in even less of a mood to have his picture taken.
waking in daddy’s shoes and eating one of daddy’s birthday cupcakes


leaving school


playing in his new playroom


helping daddy put together his new shelves in his new playroom












































































show hide 18 comments